Nekomonogatari (White) : 027

Mistress finally fell asleep after 12 o’clock, so as usual, it’s my turn on the stage nyah.

But, nyah, to think I’d wake up in that human bastard’s room, this reminds me of Golden Week nyah.

A quirk of fate. All the myriad ways we have been brought together nyah.

Mistress feels bad about this too nyah.

It’s not that I can’t understand the real motive behind Senjougahara Hitagi’s mediation, nyah, not that I’m sure I’m right about it, but anyway, on that front, it’s just frustrating nyah.

Not that I can do anything about this nyah.

In the end, I’m no one but Mistress herself.

I can’t do anything that Mistress wouldn’t nyah — it’s a sad feeling of powerlessness, now that I think about it nyah.

“Now then…”

I got up from the bed, got on all fours and stretched my bed — it’s what cats do nyah — and then said this to confirm with myself.

“…But, what’s this all about? Seeing as I’m out like this nyah, it must mean Mistress is feeling some sort of stress again… but I don’t know exactly what it is nyah. I thought it must’ve been because of that fire at her house, but seeing as I’m still coming out even now, it looks like it’s not just about the fire nyah — ”

Apparently, this is how the me this time is going to be.

During Golden Week, I was pretty much just like Mistress, and before the Cultural Festival, I was so connected to Mistress you could’ve called me her inner personality — but this time, it looks like Black Hanekawa is almost completely cut off from her in terms of her personality nyah.

Have I gained independence as an abnormality thanks to coming out so many times nyah? I’m pretty bad in the head, so I don’t really know, but if that annoying Aloha were here, he’d probably have a different explanation.

“But the times when I come out sure are getting convenient nyah — it’s actually flexible the way I only appear when Mistress is sleeping nyah. The last two times, he had to work pretty hard just to get me back inside. Nyahaha, he even needed help from that bratty little vampire nyah.”

“And of whom do you refer to as ‘bratty little vampire’?”


Someone answered my monologue nyah.

I can see it now, but, at some point — or is it ‘at some point’? She was sitting in the room, no, on top of the room, on the ceiling, with her arms around her knees, like she had been there since before the universe began nyah.

A little blonde girl.

It was that Oshino Shinobu nyah.

When I saw her before, she had a helmet with goggles on, but it looks like she stopped wearing it nyah.

And on top of that.

When I saw her before, plus that time during Golden Week, she was expressionless, but now — how should I put it, she’s looking down on me with a terrible smile on her face nyah.

…Even though she’s got what passes for a smile now, I wonder why it was that she was cuter when she didn’t have an expression on her face nyah.


The vampire went ahead and said.

She’s totally puffed-up nyah.

Actually, I’ve fought her twice and lost both times, so of course, she really can do as she pleases — it doesn’t matter whether I’m Black Hanekawa or a Hindering Cat, because as an abnormality, I can’t even reach the sole of her feet nyah.

“Long has it been, cat — it is not known to me why you skulk in the chamber of my Lord, but to seek the reason behind the appearance of an abnormality would be tasteless, I suppose.”

I am not like that Aloha brat, said the vampire.


I thought about asking her, ‘why are you here?’ but I guess that goes both ways nyah.

“Wait. Nyah? Weren’t you supposed to be locked up in that human bastard’s shadow nyah?”

That’s how it was supposed to be nyah.

If Mistress recalls correctly.

So, seeing as she’s here, it’s strange for that human bastard to not be — he’s not sticking to the ceiling nyah.

I’m not seeing anything scary like that right now nyah.

“Correct — but a slight irregularity has befallen me.”

Said the vampire sitting on the ceiling nyah.

“At this moment, the pairing between myself and my Lord — in other words, between Oshino Shinobu and Araragi Koyomi has been severed.”

“Been — severed?”

Nyah? I tilted my head.

What’s that supposed to mean nyah?

“By which I meant we have been returned to how we had been before the arrival of that Aloha brat — no, things have worsened even further. Alas, I know not where my Lord is, nor of his condition. I am completely in the dark…”

Stopping in mid-sentence, the vampire snorted and looked at me with scorn nyah.

“Confiding in you will make hardly any difference.”

She just went and gave up nyah.

Not that it wasn’t the right decision nyah.

I don’t even understand conversations beyond three lines nyah.

Anyway, it seems that human bastard is really in quite the predicament right now — I mean, seriously, isn’t he in a pretty serious situation if he got cut off from this vampire nyah?

Like that time with the Monkey.

Just what is going on with him right now?

I haven’t got any reason to worry about him (actually, I hate the guy nyah) but if Mistress finds out, she’ll definitely worry nyah — in that way, it’s pretty good timing that it’s me who’s out, as in, while Mistress is sleeping, when this vampire showed up.

“It had occurred to me that perhaps my Lord would return home, but it was a faint hope. And now, to suffer your presence as well. Edo no kataki o Nagasaki de utsu.”


Even I know she’s using that proverb wrong nyah.

Though I get what she’s trying to say nyah.

Nyah, I’m not built for this sort of thing, but let’s see if I can’t help her out.

Not with correcting the proverb, but with the human.

“Your Lord or whatever should be at that tutorial school tonight, at around 9 o’clock nyah. A meeting with that monkey woman nyah.”

“A meeting? With the monkey? What purpose could she serve at such a late — aah, I see. Yes, it is clear to me now that even my Lord possesses some presence of mind in this. Rather than choosing an abnormality, that lass is conscious of her own heredity.”

“Her heredity?”

“Well — quite the news this is, what you have just told me. It was no fool’s errand, after all. You may receive my praise. I fancied sucking your blood to stave off the boredom, but as a symbol of my gratitude, I shall refrain.”

She’s got some outrageous thoughts going through her head nyah.

Close one nyah, close one.

“Or rather, would it not be well of me to do just that out of gratitude? You are her stress, and if I absorb you, it should provide her some reprieve — in some measure.”

“Hah. I’ll have to say no to that nyah.”

Now that she mentioned it, that was exactly the case, and in fact, it was thanks to her sucking me out that Mistress got ‘saved’ the last two times — but things are a bit different this time nyah.

The difference between the me this time and the mes from before.

It must be the fact that I have a fully-fledged mission nyah — not a reason, which would befit an abnormality, but a mission, something most unlike an abnormality. Not that I know what it is yet, though.

But there must be something nyah.

“Hmph. I see. You are some new species of abnormality, something that neither the Aloha brat nor I are well versed in — but let us give you a light evaluation, shall we? To wit, the you in the now and the you hitherto are similar to the Terminator and Terminator 2.”

“That example’s very easy to understand nyah, but is it something a vampire like you should use…?”

She follows trends and fads. Surprising nyah.

Did that human bastard let her watch it nyah?

“Well, whichever the case, my drawing of your blood is only a cure for the time being, or rather, something to tide you over, and nothing more. Not a hand you should be keen on using again and again.”

“That’s true nyah.”

I agreed nyah.

When it comes down to it, I of all people know best just how meaningless ‘a cure for the time being’, a brute force solution is nyah.

Plus — I musn’t forget nyah.

Though I’m coming out like this openly, I’m nothing more than Mistress’ inner personality, so I shouldn’t be so open.

I should be scanty.

And steathy nyah.

“Yet, the outside, and inside… but two sides to the same subject, they are. Well, perhaps I overstate, but at the least, you are akin to a piece of reversible garb. You give me the impression of one performing a fool’s errand, much as my Lord does, or rather, two fools arguing in a circle.”


“Well, this is but a trite story, the kind your Mistress has naturally filling her databank with, but this is of my own recollection, with its own significance, so quiet down and listen. An anecdote of Napoleon I, this — he slept for only three hours a day, says they.”


True, that story is part of Mistress’ knowledge nyah.

Actually, it’s so famous, it’s a story that anyone would know nyah — even that illiterate human bastard would know nyah.

It’s actually pretty incredible, the way she said it’s ‘of her own recollection’ nyah.

“So what nyah? Does that have anything to do with the way I’m coming out while Mistress is sleeping nyah?”

“No, I did not mean to join the two. But, listen all the same.”

“I’m listening nyah.”

“Meanwhilst, the Emperor was famous for his love of baths. Spent more than six hours a day in it, says they. In this day and age, he would be Shizuka-chan.”


We’ve gone from ‘Terminator 2’ to ‘Doraemon’ nyah…

Something’s wrong with the way her knowledge leans towards one area nyah.

“Of this matter much has already been said, but in time, even Shizuka-chan will be regulated… actually, she is well and truly under regulation already. And now that we are on this subject, it makes me recall how risque the ED sequence of that nostaglic series, ‘Perman’ was. Pako always had her panties out on full display… but I suppose that at this point, though it was which I have just recalled, such spectacles as these were already being regulated, even before the proper laws were set. A sad tale, truly.”

“Sorry to cut in while you’re talking about this like it’s someone else’s business, but it’s the ones like you for who regulations and laws are set nyah.”

Begging his pardon, but it’s probably not the time for her to be worrying about Mr Fujiko Fujio.

“True, true. Aye, but I ramble.”

“Yep. If this is what you had me shut up to listen to, it’ll definitely get cut during the editing nyah.”

But still, I still don’t know what this vampire is trying to say nyah.

It’s ??? to me nyah.

How little the Emperor sleeps, and how long he bathes for, they’re both famous stories nyah — they’re not quite anecdotes when you get right down to it.

“Well. When I came to know of these stories, a thought came to me.”

Said the vampire.

In a very dramatic tone.

“Come now, surely he must be sleeping in his bath!”



I see, she’s trying to connect the two anecdotes — putting aside what the truth was (according to Mistress’ knowledge, the Emperor would work on his government affairs even in the bath) that’s one way to see it nyah.

“Thus, by joining these two, in a way, unnatural inclinations and considering them together, one may reach an exceedingly rational conclusion. As one would add one minus to another to produce a plus, if you add one mystery to another, you may reach a proper conclusion. In short, what I am conveying is that the matters which you consider to be separate affairs could be connected in unexpected ways — there is no meaning in considering the outside and the inside separately. Yes, you are Black Hanekawa, cut off from the personality of Hanekawa Tsubasa, that is not incorrect — but there is no marked difference between the two.”

Such is my belief.

Said the vampire — with a terrible smile.

“From my eyes, abnormalities and humans are not so unlike one another.”

“…I see.”

Hearing her say that,

made me feel a bit at ease — and very down nyah.

I’m — the same as Mistress, huh.

I already knew it, I recognized it, I even claimed it — but, now someone’s actually saying it.

“But… in that case, it’s turning out like a worse and worse idea to let you suck my blood nyah.”

“That is true. Best of all is a natural death. Both from an expert’s eye, and the abnormality’s.”

“So, vampire,”

I said.

I thought of something — after what the vampire just mentioned, I thought of something.

“If you want to thank me, how about answering one of my questions nyah?”

“Hmn? I do not mind — but do so with speed. I must hasten to return beneath my Lord. The clock strikes nine, but he may not remain in the same place — quickly, lest the useless fool truly does get himself killed.”

She looked like she was taking it easy, but apparently even she’s being driven up the wall nyah.

So I did as she said and got to the point.

“Do you know a tiger abnormality?”

“A tiger?”

“Yeah, a tiger nyah — ”

A tiger.

Mammal of the family Felinae, order of Carnivora.

“– It’s prowling around town right now.”

“Of tiger abnormalities, there are numerous. Quite a few even from my own knowledge, but with what the Aloha brat knows — ”

There are easily over fifty, said the vampire.


That’s a problem nyah.

I don’t even know that number nyah.

“Nyah, I know what Mistress knows, too… but in that case, we can’t figure out which one it really is nyah. I know it’s a really bad one, but when it comes to its true identity, I can’t think of anything — ”

“Yes, to bestow one a name is to gain a hold on one’s true identity — be it I, Oshino Shinobu, or you, Black Hanekawa. Knowing not the name, seeing not its true form — that is true terror. None can be more terrifying than the one who is none. Fear of an anonymous society, it did not begin in the present age. Are there no clues, besides being a tiger?”

“It’s a big tiger nyah.”

“Most tigers are big. A small tiger would be more telling.”

“Mmmmn, it’s really fast nyah. It got ahead of me in a flash nyah.”

“Most tigers are fast. An unmoving tiger would be more telling.”

“Mmmmn, and it talked nyah.”


The vampire reacted nyah.

And very clearly nyah.

“A beast form abnormality, and yet it speaks — that is, shall I say, rare. But I feel that hearing this has made its true form even more of a mystery.”

The vampire said this, and stood up nyah.

Her feet are stuck to the ceiling, so I guess ‘stood up’ is a weird expression use.

And I guess you can say it was lady-like, or something, the way she skillfully clamped down on her skirt with her thighs to stop it falling nyah.

All her blonde hair got turned upside-down though nyah.

“To begin with, it cannot be that an unknown abnormality prowls this town without my knowing of it.”


That’s true, now that she mentioned it nyah.

She may let small fry like me do as I please, but if a really powerful abnormality like that thing was wandering around, there’s no way it wouldn’t catch the attention of this ‘No-Life King’ nyah.

This iron-blooded, hot-blooded and cold-blooded vampire.

All abnormalities are just a supply of food for her, after all.

“…But still, it’s not like you’re still like that now, nyah? I don’t really know, but since that human’s in a tough spot, and your pairing got severed — ”

“All the more so. In such a predicament as this, I could not possibly fail to notice an abnormality — this is a bolt from the blue. Hmm, actually seen this tiger, have you?”


That’s, not true.

I did, but before —

“Mistress saw it nyah. So I did too.”

“Hence — that may be the point of contention. In short, it was an abnormality beheld by none other than the two of you — a tiger only the two of you can behold.”


“A possibility. Forgive me for not being of help.”

I shall consider again a way to show my thanks, said the vampire, who calmly walked along the ceiling and looked like she was about to leave the room through the window. She’s probably heading to that tutorial school nyah.

….Hmph, I thought.

She didn’t manage to tell me that abnormality’s true form, so there’s no reason to cosy up to her anymore, but nyah — it’s true that I wasted her time nyah.

On that front, I guess I’ll return the favor.

It’s not for that human though.

“Hey, vampire.”

“What is it, cat.”

“I’ll get you there nyah. It’s just a skip for me to get to those ruins nyah.”


“Don’t be so cautious nyah. I know you can’t fly right now — and your jumps aren’t big enough to be close to flying nyah. It’s not much truble for me nyah. But you can shave off thirty minutes.”


The vampire.

Although she hesitated for a second (actually, she just looked like she really didn’t want to) she lightly fell from the ceiling and landed on the floor, or rather, the bed. It was really springy, so she ended up bouncing back up and flipping for no reason, but it was pretty amazing how she still managed to land properly nyah.

“Can I rely upon you?”

I thought that it was possible, very possible actually, that this proud vampire would reject my suggestion, but she pretty much made up her mind right away nyah.

I guess that’s just how serious things are nyah.

That’s it nyah.

Now that I think about it — although she told me about it right away, having her pairing with that human severed isn’t just a big deal, it’s unbelievably bad news.

I mean, doesn’t this mean that human’s lost his immortality nyah?

Seeing as she’s walking and sitting on the ceiling, maybe it means that, in reverse, her vampire traits are coming back — but that bastard losing his immortality is really bad nyah.

Isn’t his immortality how he even managed to survive this long?


“…Yeah, you can rely on me nyah.”

I nodded.

“But only as close as I can — that’s how Mistress feels nyah. Even if that human’s in a tough spot, she doesn’t want to get in his way nyah.”

“Oh? — I can’t say it is something that woman would have spoken, but that is a good decision. Aye, she’s suffered her share of pain this spring break, once and twice — thanks to her conceited and thoughtless actions, my Lord was plunged in even direr straits.”

“Mmn — ”

I remember that too nyah.

I didn’t exist at the time, but — I have that memory nyah.

The way I see it, she didn’t just plunge him into direr straits, but nyah, that was more or less it, I guess nyah.

“To learn from one’s own mistakes is an unavoidable step. Do as you please. This is enough as aid.”

“Okay nyah.”

I held the vampire.

Carrying her like a bride nyah.

As soon as I touched her, my Energy Drain activated, but the vampire didn’t seem to mind nyah.

What nerves nyah.

I opened the window and put my foot on the windowsill. I’m barefooted as usual, but, nyah, I can just clean myself up when I get back nyah. Lucky enough, this room has some of those wet tissues that the human uses to clean the room nyah (he likes cleaning nyah).

Now that I come to it, how did the vampire get in this room nyah? It crossed my mind suddenly, but I guess asking that about an abnormality isn’t going to go anywhere — so I didn’t think anything, and just jumped.

I flew.

Heading for Noble Minds Tutorial School — but,

the vampire and I couldn’t head for that building nyah — although we could head for the place nyah.

I actually did aim for that area and jumped nyah.

It’s just that,

it’s just that — we couldn’t reach it.

When we landed, arrived — the building that should be there, the ruins of the tutorial school wasn’t there.

There’s only some burnt bits and pieces.

The ruins of the tutorial school, where Araragi Koyomi and Oshino Shinobu had once hidden, where Oshino Meme had lived for several months, a place filled with memories for Mistress and Senjougahara Hitagi, for Kanbaru Suruga and Sengoku Nadeko — were completely burnt down nyah.



  1. Mountainsage

    So, every place she stays is burning down? are senjougahara’s and araragi’s houses gonna burn too, you think?

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